This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
