Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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