so that wasnt chicken after all
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
