69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
