I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize