Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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