I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
