New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
