I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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