His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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