Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
