This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Randomize
