oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
