Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
