You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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