You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
