I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
