he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
