the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
