Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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