Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
