afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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