My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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