last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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