Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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