"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize