I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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