check it out our google latitudes are spooning
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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