He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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