isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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