I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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