I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
