More tranny stories later!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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