Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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