Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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