Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
