I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
