There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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