Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
