bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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