nut hugger
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
