I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
