there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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