We're facebook friends in real life
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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