Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
