One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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