So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
