we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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