ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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