Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
