I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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