Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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