Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
