What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
this will be a night to untag.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
