Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize