And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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