theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize