Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
