I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
