You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
