the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I stole a fireplace last night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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